Tag Archive | mom struggles

New Floridians

Jun27

My family and I just took a huge leap of faith! Well I guess it was more like a stroll of faith if you consider how long it actually took for it to come to fruition!

In April of 2024 my husband was recommended to apply for a new position by a friend who had just accepted a similar position with the same company. The main requirement was that we needed to relocate to the Orlando Florida area. We discussed the pros and cons for our family of 4, but ultimately made the decision that he would at least apply and we would see what happens. Within 3 weeks of him hearing about the job; he applied, passed the assessment, interviewed, and was offered the position! It was kind of like a whirlwind romance.

He accepted the position and we started the process of preparing to move from Southern NJ, just outside of Philly, where I was born and raised, to Florida. Living in Florida has always been my dream! The beautiful, paradise like climate, the beautiful views and all the things to see and do. No to mention my dream retirement is to work in a shop for Disney or Universal! I was 42 at the time, he was 40, and I truly felt that the universe and God put this opportunity in front of us for a reason. We wanted to have better opportunities for our children and their dreams and interests! My 10yr daughter is interested in the space program and my 6yo son wants to be a farmer.

I am incredibly excited for this new chapter and all of the things we will be able to accomplish and experience!

I say that it was a stroll of faith because we decided to build a home in a new community which took time, and we also chose to allow our children to finish the school year in NJ. So my husband moved down to start his new job in November and I stayed behind with our kids to sell the house, finish the school year and complete the move!

We have been here just about a week now and while we are still unpacking and getting settled, I have high hopes for the days and years to come! If tou want to achieve your dreams you have to fight for them! Take the leap, or stroll, of faith and make it happen!

Fear and Anxiety

Jan14

Got some news today. Not good not bad. Just news. I had a mammogram on Friday. Today is Tuesday. I got a call from the radiologist telling me they need to take a second look at my right breast. There was no alarm in her voice. No urgency to scheduling if the follow up scan. Just matter of fact statement. This is what we need to do and what you need to bring. Simple.

I cried for the next 2 hours as I called my doctor to get a script. To the receptionist as I tried to tell her what kind of script I needed because I couldn’t process what the radiologist tech told me I needed to get. To my nurse cousin as I texted her to calm me down. To my closeted friends as I reached out for comfort and support.

There is no new other than the fact that they need to take another look at the breast. Period. But my fear and anxiety have gone into overdrive. Imagining every single horrendous and terrible scenario it can possibly think up.

Is it cancer? Will I lose my breast? Will I lose them both? Will I die young? Is it nothing? Am I overthinking? Overreacting? What will happen to my kids? The plans we have? Can my husband handle things without me?

But I know nothing right now other than they need to look again! Why do our minds take us to these places? Why does fear and anxiety consume us in this way? It is 6pm and I am in bed, alone, with the kids downstairs with their dad. I am terrified of so many different scenarios playing through mg head right now because fear and anxiety have taken over. Why do we let it consume us? How do move through it?

Kinship

Dec8

Well I did it again! My beautiful son, Elliot, was born on Sunday, December 2nd and it just amazing already. Thank God he is healthy and happy. All the anxiety that I had throughout my 9 months was terrifying but apparently unnecessary. I delivered him in 44 minutes from when I started pushing, a huge change from my daughter, as I pushed for 2 hours and 45 minutes with her. The staff was absolutely amazing!

After delivery when I was finally taken to my room, a room I would not see the outside of for the next roughly 3 days. I asked my husband to stay in the hospital with me this time. When my daughter was born I told him he could home and I think that was my first mistake. With her I spent 3 days mostly alone in the hospital room. During the day it wasn’t so bad, I had some visitors, hospital staff in and out checking on me and Fiona, but at night when no one came in to check on us it got hard. I think that is part of the reason I had such bad postpartum depression. I pretty much started off as a mom all alone. 

This time I voiced what I needed. I asked for help. I am so lucky to have my mom so close by. She took Fiona the whole time I was in the hospital so that Harrison could stay by my side. Though I was nursing, and he couldn’t actually feed our new bundle of joy, at least I had someone to talk to. Even though I was up at night nursing Elliot, I could look over at the pull out cot and see my loving husband there, though asleep, to support me. 

That first day/night in the hospital with my new son, after the first round of hospital staff was in and out, after the first round of visitors had come and gone, I thought to myself, “I am so blessed. I have a beautiful new son, a beautiful daughter, a loving husband and an incredibly supportive family!” That is when I heard it! The screeching cry from the room next door! The screeching cry of an inconsolable baby. The constant wail from those tiny lungs. And I didn’t hear it just once. It was pretty consistent throughout our stay. All I could think was, “That poor mom! I do not know your story, but I have been there! I have been in your shoes! I know what you are going through and you can do this! I don’t know your precious baby’s story but he will be alright!” At that moment I said a prayer for her. A prayer for that mom with screeching baby and for every mom that is having a tough time of it. Sometimes all a mom or even dad needs to hear is, “You got this!’ One kind word, or even a prayer, goes a long way! If you see a parent struggling, give them a kind word. If you see a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the mall, don’t stare. Give the parent a little acknowledgement that you understand what they are going through. Every family, every parent, every child has a story different from our own and what us parents need is kinship to make it through the day sometimes.