Have you ever known a person, or persons, so well that you didn’t need to use complete sentences, thoughts or even ideas to communicate with them? You can just ramble on about any abstract item and it makes complete and total sense to the person to whom you are speaking? Or been in a conversation with several people at once, each of you going on about some random topic and having it all makes sense those of you in conversation but when an “outsider” hears or reads, in the case of text, they have absolutely no idea what is going on? I witnessed this recently with my husband and his friends. It is as if they have their own language that only the few of them can understand. I do not know if it is a “guy” thing or just because they have known each other for so long and have literally been to the other side of world together but it is something that I will never understand.
To be honest, there is a small pang of jealousy that they have this world that belongs only to them. A world that I could never hope to inhabit, try as I might. I am amazed at their bond and love for each other and I think, “I want to be a part of that.” This tremendous world that they live in, whether they are together, talking through text, or playing a video game over the internet, they are all just THERE. They can go months without a call, text or email and when they come back together it is as if they were never apart. Is it wrong that I want to be a part of it?
I sit back to think on that question and the answer hits me like a ton of bricks. YES, it is. The desire to want to be a part of it is not wrong but actually trying to be, is. This is my husband’s space, his world apart from me. He needs to have that. He needs to have that group that he can go to, talk to, hang with that does not include me. After all, we have our own world as well, don’t we? We are married and starting a family. We have a bond in which no one else can take part. It would be like him trying to join in on my “girl’s nights” with my high school girlfriends. We need to have that separate time so that when we come back to each other at the end of the evening, or week if he has flown out to visit the boys, we can share our stories and experiences with each other. Doing so will strengthen our bond as a couple and as people.
I thank the heavens everyday that my husband has people like them in his life. People he can trust no matter what. They will always be there for him when he needs them just as he will always be there for them should they need him. I hope that everyone has a least one person in his or her life like this. And if you don’t, I pray you find one.